I quit a few of my jobs today.
For almost a year now, I've been babysitting to add a little cash flow. At first it was great - the kiddos I watched were so entertaining and it was great for little e to have a playmate. Just a couple hours each day and a few extra dollars to help pay our house off a bit faster. The perfect set up.
But since October, I've been watching three different children. Sometimes it was okay but sometimes I felt like I was on the edge of a breakdown. I just wanted to have a bit of time for myself. I'm sure my pregnancy, the winter, and little e's growing up all played a part in the change of how I felt. It just wasn't something great anymore, but felt more like a burden - something that I sort of dreaded.
Last night I went to our RS activity and one of the speakers said, "Get rid of everything negative in your life." Immediately I thought, oh my goodness, that's babysitting. I'd been going back and forth for a while, but last night it was so clear. I need to let that part of my life go, so I can be more emotionally, physically, and spiritually balanced. I want to be a better mom and really focus on loving my e girl. I want to give her all of me, not a distracted, exhausted, frustrated me.
So this morning I did it. I let each of the parents know that this was my two weeks notice. It was hard, because I love them all so much and I want to help them out, but I can already tell a difference. I know my sweet girl will miss her friends, but maybe now I can make some friends :)
It feels so good to know my life is my own again! Looking forward to some extra special moments with my baby.